


(Give Me A) Reason To Live

by dracusfyre



Series: Living on the Run [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Tony Stark, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, oh my god they were roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:47:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28779996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracusfyre/pseuds/dracusfyre
Summary: After fleeing Hydra, James and Tony found a fragile peace, living together and striking at Hydra from the shadows. Until the news that Captain America has been found forces them out of hiding to face their fears head-on.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Living on the Run [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110065
Comments: 36
Kudos: 220
Collections: Tony Stark Bingo Mark IV





	1. Chapter 1

Tony winced as he straightened, suddenly feeling every hour he’d been sitting at his computer. His back ached, his neck was stiff, and his eyes burned; when he stood, his back popped like bubble wrap. He reached for his coffee cup only to find it empty, and so was his bottle of water, so he reluctantly climbed the stairs towards the kitchen.

Only to pause when he saw James asleep on the couch. He’d have to go around him to get to the kitchen but startling the Winter Soldier from sleep was always a bad idea, considering the number of weapons that were stashed around the house. He knew some people look relaxed and peaceful while sleeping, but not James; he didn’t look like he ever relaxed, not even while unconscious, mouth set in a stern line.

“Why are you watching me?” James said suddenly without opening his eyes, making Tony jump.

“I thought you were asleep,” Tony said, scowling as he went around the couch to get to the kitchen for food and something to drink.

“Heard you coming up the stairs. Find us a new target yet?”

“Some. There’s a cluster pretty close together near Kansas City, I think we could hit them all in one night,” Tony said as he studied the contents of the refrigerator, wondering if any of the sandwich meat was still good. He sniffed it and decided not.

“You know where there’s a big cluster?”

“Where?”

“DC.”

Tony growled and slammed the fridge door shut. They needed more food, but the closest real grocery store was an hour away, and if he didn’t think he could handle gas station convenience store food one more time. “We’re not going to DC.”

“Why not?”

“It’s too dangerous.” Tony grabbed a pack of crackers and a can of tuna from the pantry instead; he was so goddamn sick of eating from cans and jars and boxes, he wanted to go to a restaurant so badly he could almost cry.

“So instead we are going to keep hiding out in the woods and nibbling around the edges of Hydra? That’s your grand plan?”

“My _plan_ is erode Hydra’s power base and critical infrastructure until it collapses under its own weight,” Tony snapped back. “It’s not like we’re the only people working on this.”

“Right. Your inside man.” James said sarcastically. “Let me know when there’s real work to do, I’m tired of this petty bullshit.”

Tony’s hand tightened on the bottle of water and the cheap plastic crinkled in his hand but he didn’t say anything. He knew they were both tired of being stuck in this house with only each other for company for months now, almost a year, with the only breaks in the boredom being the periodic excursions to break into and occasionally destroy Hydra front companies and bases. He pressed a knuckle to the spot between his eyes, trying to forestall the headache he could feel building. “I found another chair,” he said into the tense silence as he opened the bottle of water and chugged it. “And a bioweapons lab. These targets aren’t _petty._ ” He knew he’d won that round when James was silent for a moment.

“Have you noticed that each target we hit is harder than the last?” James said eventually. “I get what you’re doing, but its just making them more prepared for us.”

“If we kill Pierce and the others and don’t destroy the organization, new scum will just rise to the top. We’ve-“ Tony bit off his words and sighed. He put some tuna on a cracker and shoved it in his mouth, chewing tiredly. “We’ve talked about this before,” he said when he finally swallowed. “We’re not ready to take on the entire organization yet.”

He heard a deep sigh from the direction of the couch. “Yeah. You’re right. I just…”

“I know. I want it to be over, too.” Tony steadily ate the tuna and crackers with the dutiful determination of a man doing an unpleasant task, then swept the crackers off the table and looked out the window. The sky was starting to deepen to a beautiful deep blue twilight, promising a clear night, and the weather was brisk and pleasant. “Want to go for a walk?” he offered. “We haven’t checked your traps in while.”

“Sure,” James said after a beat, recognizing the offer for the olive branch that it was. Tony set JARVIS on sentinel mode and picked up his phone, night vision glasses, and a red-light flashlight for the walk. Over the past year, while Tony had been obsessively improving his suit and putting together a high value target list, James had taken up landscaping; he’d been steadily redesigning the forest around the cabin to funnel anyone approaching onto a handful of paths, then booby-trapping the hell out of these paths with cameras and tripwires attached to landmines and sentry guns.

“Nice night,” Tony commented as James cleared out some brush and limbs that had obscured one of the traps.

“Yep,” James grunted as he checked the magazine and barrel of one of the sentry guns. Tony pulled out his phone and tested the control mechanisms for the gun, moving it left and right and up and down to make sure everything was working.

“You know, as much as I obviously don’t want us to be found, I kind of would like to see these traps in action. You’ve put so much work into them,” Tony said. He followed James through the woods, careful to only walk where he was walking. “What else do you want to do?”

Tony could feel the irritable mood lightening for both of them as James answered Tony’s question, pointing out places where he planned to dig out and deepen ravines, move fallen trees, and replant bushes to make sure the unwary would walk right into the traps. It was full night when they reached the far edge of their property line to make sure that the NO TRESPASSING signs were frequently posted and fully visible so no hikers or hunters accidentally got blown to hell. They cut through the woods to the dirt road that led to the cabin and were admiring the stars when Tony got an alert from JARVIS on his phone.

“Something big just came across the comms,” Tony said, showing the screen to James. James nodded and the stroll became a fast walk back to the cabin. The walk had been a good idea; just getting out of the house and getting fresh air had done a lot for Tony’s headache and James sounded like he was in a much better mood as they went back inside. He claimed the shower while Tony polished off the bottle of water and went downstairs to see what the alert was all about. When he pulled up the message, he read it once, then again, then stared at the wall for a moment before reading it a third time, which was when it really sank in. “James!” He shouted, then cursed when he remembered he was in the shower. He almost tripped as he ran up the stairs, then pounded on the bathroom door before barreling in.

“What the fu-”

“They found Captain America,” Tony said. “Up near Greenland or something. They found the _Valkyrie_ and he was still inside and they think he’s still alive.”

For a long moment there was only the sound of water running, then James finally said, “Who found him?”

“Hydra. I mean SHIELD,” Tony corrected. “But you know. Hydra knows.”

“Fuck.” James turned off the water and slid the shower curtain back as he reached for the towel on the back of the toilet. Tony felt the back of his neck get hot and kept his eyes firmly on James’ face, trying and failing to not feel like a creeper for how hard it was to not appreciate the view. Finally James put the towel around his waist, which helped only a little bit because now James was raking his wet hair back and water was running down his chest and had Tony mentioned that they’d been stuck alone in this cabin for almost a year? “Wait, what do you mean they _think_ he’s still alive?”

“Apparently he’s been frozen all this time, but they found a heartbeat. They are trying to extract him so they can thaw him out in a medical facility.” Tony met James and saw something in the man’s eyes that he’d never seen before; it was the kind of hope that made you afraid, because you wanted it so badly to be true that it might destroy you if it wasn’t. The look made Tony’s heart twist and his stomach drop but he refused to think about that because there was more important things to think about.

“So what do you think we should do?” Tony asked. He finally backed out of the bathroom which, he just now realized, he probably should have done as soon as James started to get out of the shower.

“Isn’t it obvious?” James said. “We gotta steal Steve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: (Give Me A) Reason to Live  
> Card Number: 4032  
> Square Filled: T3 "Convenience Store"  
> Ship/Main Pairing: James Barnes/Tony Stark  
> Rating: T  
> Major Tags: Canon Typical Violence, Getting Together, Mutual Pining


	2. Chapter 2

“Do you know where they are planning to take him?” James asked as he headed for the stairs up to his room. Tony started to follow him then realized that James was going to drop his towel to get dressed and after a moment of temptation, stayed at the bottom of the stairs instead.

“SHIELD facility in New York,” Tony called up, trying very hard to concentrate on anything except what his imagination was currently trying to show him regarding a naked James next to a bed.

“ _SHIELD_ SHIELD, or Hydra SHIELD?” James said from above, voice slightly muffled.

“SHIELD SHIELD, as far as I can tell,” Tony said. “Fury himself is taking the lead, for now. But there’s always the question of what will happen after he wakes up, and I’m sure Hydra will be trying to weasel themselves into those plans.”

“True.” James jogged back down the stairs, his shirt clinging to damp skin and hair pulled away from his face. “So what do you think? Intercept before or after he wakes up?”

“After, I think.” Tony led him downstairs to the lab, where James had his own computer setup. He sat down at it and powered it on while Tony fired up the fancy coffee machine in the back of the room. “I mean, we have no idea how to thaw out someone safely, and no equipment to do so if we did.”

“True.” James pulled up the Hydra files and read the message that had sent Tony racing up the stairs, then started searching for the exact location of the _Valkyrie_ and the NY SHIELD office to start planning. After a few weeks of fits and starts due to poor communication, they had finally settled into a good division of labor: Tony dug through the files for appropriate targets and when he had them, James would come up with the actual plan of attack. “The exfil will be a lot easier if he’s awake.”

Tony nodded and silence reigned for a long time, broken only by the sound of keyboards and James occasionally making notes. He didn’t realize he had fallen asleep at his desk until James shook him awake and herded him to bed. He’d been having a dream about Captain America, some fuzzy half-remembered thing where the man was scolding him for something, then he had turned into Tony’s father and sent Tony to his room. You didn’t have to be a shrink to pick up on _that_ symbolism, Tony thought as he fell into bed.

“You should get undressed,” James said and Tony froze, suddenly wide awake as his heart hammered. Did he really…?

“What?” He managed, rolling over to look up at James.

Who raised an eyebrow and pointed to Tony’s feet. “You’re still wearing the shoes we went hiking in,” he pointed out, and Tony let his head fall back against the pillows as his face got hot.

“Right,” he mumbled, and toed them off to fall on the floor. James was still standing there, looking expectant, so with a put-upon sigh Tony sat up and started peeling off the rest of his clothes as well.

“This is going to change everything, isn’t it?” he said as James started to leave. “This thing with Cap?”

James hesitated at the door, the hand on the door frame gleaming in the dim light from the computers in the next room. “Get some sleep, Tony,” he said after a moment. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

There was that sick feeling again. Tony tossed his clothes in the corner and fell back into bed, and recited the digits of pi until he fell asleep.

* * *

By the time Tony woke up and stumbled up the stairs, James was awake and thankfully already making breakfast. He shuffled up to the kitchen table and muttered a thanks as James slid a cup of coffee across the table. James knew better than to attempt conversation before Tony was ready, so they sat and ate in silence until Tony was finally awake enough to say, “Any news?”

“Nothing much. They needed special equipment to break through the ice without destabilizing the plane and sending it to the bottom of the ocean,” James said between bites of pancake.

“So we’ve got time?”

“Little bit.”

“Got a plan?” At that, James tilted his head back and forth in an _eh, sort of_ motion. “What do you need?”

“More intel.”

Tony just grunted and finished off his coffee. If James still had questions they would be ready and waiting for Tony downstairs, and since they had time, Tony needed at least one more cup of coffee before dealing with that. He pushed away from the table and put his plate in the dishwasher, then refilled his coffee and sat back down while James kept eating. This was another good system that they’d figured out over the past year; James ate twice as much as Tony, at least, to power that supersoldier metabolism, which worked out because by the time James was done eating, Tony was finished with his second cup of coffee and they were both ready to start the day. “Hey, where’s he going to sleep?” Tony blurted out without thinking, then cringed. “Nevermind, that’s a stupid question.”

James just shrugged as he used his last bite to sop up some maple syrup. “Dunno. One of us will have to double bunk with someone, or take the couch, or get another mattress. Does it matter?”

“No, of course not.”

But James was eyeing him thoughtfully. “Is that what you meant? Last night?”

“Huh?”

“You said this was going to change everything.”

“Oh.” Tony looked down at his coffee cup to avoid James’ eyes. “I, uh, I meant we’re not going to be able to fly under the radar anymore, you know? After stealing Captain America out from under SHIELD and Hydra’s noses.”

“True.” As James picked up his plate and put it in the dishwasher as well, he said, “You should call him Steve. We’re rescuing Steve Rogers, not Captain America.”

Right. Of course. Like Tony could forget that James and Cap- _Steve_ had a past. “Yeah, sure, sorry,” Tony muttered, taking a sip of coffee against the sour taste in his mouth. “I’ll head downstairs and get started on that intel.”

Once downstairs, he could see why James had left these questions to him. Questions like finding the building plans for the SHIELD facility and learning which personnel were going to be assigned to Steve were going to take some hacking to find out. Fortunately, when it came to SHIELD, Hydra was already infested in their systems, and Tony had a backdoor to Hydra, so by lunch time he was jogging back up the stairs to tell James what he’d found and almost tripped over a Barret MK22.

“Careful,” James said, sitting at the center of what looked like an explosion in a firearms factory. “I thought you’d be down there for longer.”

“Packing for the trip?” Tony asked, stepping carefully around the sniper rifle and picking his way through the rest of James’ collection towards the kitchen.

“Planning. Trying to figure out what we might need to pick up before we go.”

“I got that info for you, if that helps your planning.” Tony took one of the many frozen meals out of the freezer and popped it in the microwave. “Looks like they are keeping this information pretty close to the chest, which is good for us. Not going to be a lot of attention on him when it comes time to do our thing.” James only made an absent noise, clearly still lost in thought as he stared at a stack of C4, so for a while there was only the humming of the microwave until Tony got impatient and opened the door early. “I’ll be downstairs,” he told James as he grabbed a fork and gingerly picked up his molten hot lasagna.

“I’m coming,” James said, getting to his feet with a smooth, easy motion that made Tony feel every one of his years. Tony settled down in his computer chair as James stood behind him, leaving Tony with a prickling awareness of how close he was. Tony took a deep breath to steady himself and pulled up the report he’d slapped together. First was the building plan, and after it got James’ nod of approval Tony sent it to the jumbo printer because he knew that James liked to work off of hard copies. Next was a series of internal shield memos proposing a variety of plans for what to do when Steve woke up, and James snorted derisively as he read them. “Not a single one of these people know anything about Steve, do they?”

“I mean, only what they learned from history books, I guess. What would you do?”

“You mean what am I _going_ to do? I’m going to say, ‘Wake the fuck up, Steve, we gotta get out of here now follow me.’”

Tony laughed and saw James’ mouth curl up at the corners. “Simple and effective. I like it.” Since SHIELD was still trying to decide its plan of action, Tony dismissed the emails and started pulling up the personnel list. Like he’d said, it wasn’t long; SHIELD was playing this one close to the vest for now.

“Wait.” Tony immediately stopped scrolling as James leaned over his shoulder, smelling like shower soap and gun oil. “I know her,” James said, frowning. He pointed at the redhead. “Who is she?”

“Well, her SHIELD ID says Natalie Rushman,” Tony said. “Is she Hydra?”

“No…” James said slowly, eyebrows drawing together as he tried to remember. Many of his memories had come back surprisingly quickly once they’d escaped Hydra, making for some really touch-and-go moments in the early months as James had often woken up screaming from nightmares and had wandered around the cabin hollow-eyed and haunted. Going into the woods had been his escape in those days, and he’d only told Tony what he was up to after Tony had gotten cabin fever and decided to go for a hike and figure out what all the hype was about with fresh air and nature. “I think I shot her once.”

“Think she’d know your face?”

“Maybe.” Tony could tell that James was still frustrated by the almost-there memory so he left the image up on the screen for him to stare at.

“That’ll be a complication, since she’s part of his reintegration team,” Tony mused. “Strangely enough, I guess that means between the two of us, I’ll be the one least likely to be recognized. Not something I ever thought I’d say.”

“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”

“Um…” Tony squinted at James and realized that obviously James wouldn’t know much about Tony’s past, other than what he’d told him or what James would have seen in the Hydra files. Especially if it hadn’t occurred to James to look him up on the internet, which he guessed was possible. “I was, uh, kind of a celebrity.”

“What for? Were you a movie star or something?”

Tony made a face. He didn’t want to admit that he was mostly famous for a series of sex scandals to someone who had personally known _Captain America._ “Nothing good,” he said finally. “Stupid stuff.” No chance James wasn’t going to Google him now, but at least he wouldn’t have to explain to James’ face why there were so many pictures on the internet of him naked. Thankfully, James just shrugged, apparently willing to leave it at that, so Tony quickly went through the rest of the items on James’ list. There was also no further updates on the efforts to get Steve out of the ice, so they were officially in Tony’s least favorite part of any operation: the hurry up and wait part.

With nothing else to do in the lab, Tony set JARVIS to keep an eye on any further communication and followed James back up the stairs. Since the couch was the only part of the living room that wasn’t covered in some kind of weapon, Tony perched on it and turned on the TV while James organized his collection. Making sad noises at James got him his forgotten lasagna from downstairs with the low, low cost of grumbling and an eye roll, leaving Tony to have a pleasant couple of hours hanging out in companionable silence with James. At some point, James had changed position to lean against the couch while sitting on the floor, which had meant that his back was pressing against Tony’s leg, warm and solid and something Tony only thought about every 15 seconds or so for a solid hour. 

“I was thinking about what you said earlier,” James said after a while, sitting up and sadly moving away from Tony as he started to put away the weapons, sorting them into piles and returning some to their hiding places. “About this operation breaking our cover.”

“Yeah?”

“Your suit. Could you make it flashy?”

“Flashy?” Tony echoed in confusion. He had a couple of suit builds now, based on the various types of missions they went on, but all of them were matte black and had a rubberized exterior to reduce the noise and radar profile. “I mean, sure, that wouldn’t be hard. But why?”

“Our best bet might be for you to create a distraction, and I think you zooming down 5th Avenue would be a good distraction.”

Tony stared at him, stomach turning as his whole body went hot and cold with fear. “No,” he said shakily, turning away from James and sliding further into the couch, staring resolutely at the TV screen. “No fucking way.” Tony pulled the blanket tighter around himself, curling into a ball. Everything depended on him not being seen, on Hydra not knowing he was alive. _Everything._ How could James not know that? Was Tony supposed to jump at the chance to sacrifice himself for _Steve?_ Because one look at the suit and Hydra would know, _Stane_ would know, and then– then-

A sudden warm hand on his shoulder made him jump and lash out. When his hands only met hard muscle _fight_ turned to _flight_ and he scrambled away. But as he tried to get to his feet he tripped over a blanket and hit the floor hard, knocking the wind out of him. His heart was pounding in his ears but eventually he heard James talking to him, saying “Tony, fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize, just wait,” and that was like a bucket of water to the face. He realized he was sweating and his breathing was fast and shallow, and as he looked up at James he felt the hot crawl of humiliation.

“I’m fine,” he said shortly as he climbed to his feet. “I’m going to take a shower.” He could feel the pressure of James’ eyes and his silence against his back as he went to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He shook for a while, leaning against the bathroom door, before he finally managed to turn on the shower.

The awkwardness lasted until dinner, with James clearly wanting to say something but unsure how to bring it up, and Tony too embarrassed to meet his eye or give him an opening. Thankfully, JARVIS gave them an update halfway through dinner, and the tension eased as conversation turned towards their plan. Since James had cooked, Tony reluctantly got up to do the dishes, only to have James gently crowd him away from the sink. “You need to get ready for the mission,” James pointed out, which was a flimsy excuse because it didn’t take _that_ long to get the suit ready to go now that Tony had figured out how to make it deploy from something the size of a suitcase, but Tony didn’t argue. He hated doing dishes.

It was also better than staying upstairs and risking that James would say something, so he went downstairs to prep the suit. Once down there, though, he slowed as he approached the Mark VII, remembering James’ suggestion earlier. Though the thought still make his limbs feel weak and his heart race, he forced himself to sit down and consider the idea instead of running from it. He knew what James had been trying to suggest; he could get the attention of the police and any SHIELD agents in the area and draw them away from James while he rescued Steve. He could even put a few holes in the building to cover their escape then disappear as soon as they were clear. It was smart, it was simple, and it was fucking terrifying.

Though there was no escaping the fact that Tony had put in a lot of effort making sure Hydra would think he was dead, and this was going to undo all of that work. “Fuck,” Tony groaned, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. It wasn’t like James wasn’t risking everything, too, but apparently he was willing to let Tony take the cowards way out even if it made their plan harder. “JARVIS,” he said finally, voice muffled behind his hands. “Warm up the machines, we’re modifying one of the suits. We’re changing up the armor.” What was an eye-catching color? Probably red, a bright red. All the better to wave himself in front of the metaphorical bull. But all red would look like shit. “Red and gold,” Tony said finally. “Make me a mockup of the armor in red and gold.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Are you sure about this?” James asked. He was methodically checking his weapons as he distributed them around his body, putting knives in sheaths and guns in holsters. With his cleanly shaved face and newly cut hair – the better for Steve to recognize him – in that stolen SHIELD tactical gear, he was so goddamn sexy that Tony could barely look at him.

“I’ll be a lot safer than you will,” Tony pointed out. “All I have to do is fly around and blow up stuff until you give me the word.”

“Unless they scramble jets or attack helicopters on you,” James pointed out, but Tony waved off his words.

“They’re not going to fire on me in the middle of the city, and once I’m out of the city they won’t be able to keep up,” Tony said confidently, 99% sure of the first part and about 80% sure of the second part. For obvious reasons he’d never tested the suit in a one-to-one matchup with a fighter jet, but he knew their specs and felt good about his chances. “Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” James said.

A funny note in his voice made Tony glance over, only to see that James was looking at him intently, with a look in his eyes that Tony couldn’t interpret. But it made his heart trip and his mouth dry and before his brain could intervene, he said, “Kiss for good luck?” The look in James’ eyes turned to surprise, and when he took a step forward and opened his mouth Tony panicked. “I’m kidding, obviously,” he babbled, backing away. “Probably should get started, don’t want Steve to wake up without us.”

James narrowed his eyes in a way that promised that he wasn’t going to forget about this, but only said, “We’ll do a comms check on my way to the SHIELD facility.”

“Yep,” Tony said brightly, starting to shove his hands in his pocket before realizing that his flight suit didn’t have pockets, then crossing his arms over his chest instead. “Meet you guys back at the cabin, right?”

“Yeah. We’ll be there as soon as we can.” As James turned to leave, Tony started to give him a stupid little wave goodbye; he turned it into just a gesture of running his hand through his hair before James could see it. It felt weird and wrong to split up, knowing that he wasn’t going to see James again for at least a week, maybe longer if they had to shake any pursuit. It would be the longest they’d been apart since he’d rescued him from Hydra, and Tony just now realized how much he was going to miss him.

“Bye,” he said softly as the door closed behind James. “Be safe.”

* * *

James paused inside the garage, turning to stare at the door he had just closed as he wondered if he’d heard what he thought he’d heard. He wanted to go back inside and say goodbye properly, maybe take Tony up on that kiss he’d offered and then taken back, but Tony had been right – the timing on this mission was unforgiving, and if he went back inside he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave again for a while. So instead he just said, “You, too,” to the door and got in the car, anonymous black SUV bought at a police auction with stolen government tags. He took a deep breath as he cranked it up and opened the garage door, trying to set aside his worry for Tony. As good as his suit was – and it was fucking _good,_ James was impressed and proud of how Tony always seemed to find a new way to make it even better – it didn’t make him invincible. James could think of at least three ways off the top of his head to take down the suit and prayed that the element of surprise would keep them from occurring to anyone else.

“Man in a Can, are you there?” James said when he was almost there. The SHIELD facility was near Times Square, for some reason; maybe they’d thought that since Steve had grown up in New York, it would be a good place to start his reintegration, as if the city hadn’t become unrecognizable in the last sixty years. It would be more unsettling than if Steve had woken up in the middle of nowhere, or even still in fucking Greenland.

“Hearing you loud and clear, Terminator.” James rolled his eyes but let himself smile at the call sign. He found a parking spot on the block behind the SHIELD facility, near an alley that would eventually dump into the building’s loading docks.

“I’m in position,” he said.

“Alright. It’s go time,” Tony said, voice barely betraying a hint of nerves. It suddenly occurred to James that he hadn’t really asked what Tony was planning for his distraction, and he had just enough time to feel like maybe that was a mistake before he heard the distinctive whistle and pop of fireworks. Craning his head to see the sky out of his window, he saw streamers of brightly colored smoke appear and heard Tony say something through the speakers in his suit, the echoes of the city making it hard to understand from where he was sitting. But people were starting to hurry away from the building, and the unmistakable sound of flash-bangs going off were his cue. He pulled on his helmet and got out of the car, rifle in hand.

“Building is under attack!” He shouted at the security guards as he approached. “We need to get this place evacuated!” Between the stolen uniform and the air of command – and probably also due to the sound of explosions – they believed him and ran inside to start getting people outside.

James strode through the chaos inside, directing people towards the exists as he made his way to where Steve was being held. He had to go through metal detectors and jump over turnstiles, but everyone was too busy to challenge him as he wove his way deeper into the labyrinthine building. SHIELD had gone with a ridiculous farce to try to ease Steve into the 21st century, setting up a stage inside a warehouse sized room like Steve hadn’t spent enough time on movie stages to recognize one when he saw it. Guards were posted outside, and word of Tony’s distraction must have reached them because when James approached they were talking to each other in low tones, probably deciding whether they needed to get Steve out of there or stay at their posts.

“Change in plans, guys,” James said as he approached, trying to sound breathless and worried. “The director wants us to move him, building is under attack from an unknown assailant and he’s worried for his safety.”

“Move him? But-” James punched him in the face with his metal arm and elbowed the other in the solar plexus before hitting him in the temple with the butt of his rifle, glad that these poor assholes hadn’t been issued helmets.

Then he opened the door to Steve’s room, and despite the fact he’d known what SHIELD had done, the sensation of stepping into the past made him stumble. The sound of the radio, tuned to a Yankees game, was disorienting, as were the images of an older New York being projected outside the windows.

And then there was Steve, laid out on the bed like a man on a stretcher. James pulled off his helmet and approached slowly; seeing him was the most jarring of all, because he looked exactly the same. James felt suddenly felt old, seeing Steve’s face relaxed in sleep; he felt every single one of the sixty years he’d been with Hydra, even if he’d been frozen through most of them. Christ. Waking him up would eventually mean facing those years, in a way he’d been able to avoid with Tony; Tony had known everything already, so James hadn’t had to talk about it at all, just shove it away and forget about it. No awkward conversations about nightmares and insomnia, since Tony had those too. It wouldn’t be like that with Steve, though. Steve would want to know, wouldn’t take no for an answer, would want to know about the arm and the scars and the nightmares. The blood on his hands. He wouldn’t judge, not Steve, but he wouldn’t get it, either, not like Tony did.

Tony had been right. This was going to change everything.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, James sat down on the edge of the bed. The simple motion was already pulling Steve out of sleep; James saw his breathing change, heard his heart speed up and eyes start moving behind his eyelids.

“Steve,” James said softly. “Time to get up, you lazy fuck.” He hadn’t known what he was going to say until it came out of his mouth, but when it did, James found a new memory; calling Steve a lazy fuck was an inside joke from the war, since Steve had always been up at dawn and bursting with energy.

That made Steve’s eyes fly open. “Bucky?”

James stood as Steve sat up suddenly, eyes glued to his face. “Yeah, it’s me, Steve.”

“What- you-“ he started, before settling on, “How?”

“Long story.” Hell of an understatement. “I’ll tell you when we’re safe.”

“Safe? What do you-” Steve’s eyes flew around the room, and he picked up on all the false elements, the wrong notes and mistakes in the room that James had noticed when he’d walked in. “Where are we?”

“Not a place where we want to stay,” James said. He pulled off the small backpack that had been strapped to his back and pulled out a janitor’s uniform for Steve. “Put this on.”

Even though Steve was still confused, he obeyed, clearly still trusting James. And why wouldn’t he, James thought. _He_ didn’t know what James had been doing the past sixty years. “I’m ready,” Steve said as he zipped it up the front. Standing there, shoulders squared and jaw tight, he didn’t look like a janitor, he looked like goddamned Captain America wearing a janitor’s uniform, but this was they best they were going to get right now. James chucked his helmet and the body armor with the giant SHIELD patch on it and stripped down to a plain burgundy shirt with dark pants to blend in with a crowd.

“Let’s go.” As James led the way out, he turned the mic on to Tony and said, “I got him. We’re heading out now.”

Thankfully, Steve was stubborn but not stupid; as soon as they got out to where there were still streams of people trying to leave the building, he understood immediately what the plan was and his shoulders slumped, making him look shorter and smaller. Explosions outside the large glass windows meant that no one was paying attention to anything but evacuating, so they managed to mingle with an unsuspecting crowd of SHIELD employees to a safe point a few blocks away. They slowly made their way to the edge of the crowd, then just walked away, heading towards an empty NYC cab that James had acquired for their escape. James was just thinking that he was surprised that the mission had gone off without a hitch, when something flashed over his head with a load roar.

“What the hell is that?” Steve said. James looked up in time to see the bright red and gold of Tony’s latest suit disappear down the street, then another loud roar came up from behind them - a quinjet, hot on Tony’s heels. Fast as a jet and as maneuverable as a helicopter, the quinjet was SHIELD’s latest baby, and James cursed because he hadn’t known they were ready to be deployed yet.

“You okay?” James said to Tony on the comms as he herded Steve into the back of the taxi. Not that there was much James could do about it if he wasn’t, since he still had to get Steve out of the city. The thought of Hydra getting their hands on Steve, of getting him into the chair, had been the cause of more than one sleepless night.

“I’m good,” Tony said back. “Still got a few tricks up my sleeve.”

James nodded, though Tony obviously couldn’t see him, and got in the driver’s seat of the cab. “One of those guys is with you?” Steve asked from the back, having clearly overheard his conversation.

“Yeah, the one that looked like a robot,” James said as he pulled into traffic. “His name is Tony. You’ll be meeting him back at our safe house.” Thankfully, New York was used to cabs driving aggressively and honking, so he didn’t draw any undue attention as he made his way out of the city. Whenever he looked in the rearview mirror, he could see Steve staring out the window, looking dismayed and baffled by what he was seeing, but he knew better than to distract James by asking questions while they were trying to escape. Soon enough they were out of traffic and into the relative safety of Newark, where James drove the taxi to the airport then hustled Steve into yet another car, this one a beige sedan.

“Are we clear?” Steve asked as James pulled out of the long-term parking lot, pulling the ballcap James had provided him farther down over his face for the parking lot security.

“Clear enough for now,” James said, shoulders finally starting to relax as they got onto the highway heading west. He hadn’t heard from Tony, but that had been part of the plan; the less communication, the better, because SHIELD and the military and Hydra would all be scanning the airwaves trying to get a lock on them. In fact, that reminded him; he pulled the comm device from his ear and crushed it before tossing it out the window. He knew in his head that Tony could take care of himself, but he also knew that he was going to get back to the cabin as fast as possible so he could make sure he was ok.

“Good,” Steve said. “Now are you going to tell me what the _hell_ is going on?”

* * *

Tony barrel rolled through the canyons made by New York’s skyscrapers, feeling almost giddy as he fled from the quinjet. The fact that this SHIELD facility had a quinjet was a surprise that he should feel embarrassed about, but to be honest, he was actually having fun. He never really got the chance to push the suit to its limits since they’d mostly been doing stealth operations against Hydra; he’d even been too afraid of being seen to give it a good test run unless they were close to the open ocean.

“JARVIS, turn me on some tunes,” Tony said, and saw his playlist pop up on his HUD before he heard AC/DC blast out of his speakers. The quinjet was able to keep up with him, but obviously they couldn’t fire on him, so for now it was just a fun game of can’t catch me while people gawked from the streets and sidewalk. As big as the quinjet was, that pilot had amazing reflexes and nerves of steel to navigate through the city without damaging any of the buildings. “What’s the word with the Air National Guard?”

“ETA twenty minutes.”

Tony pulled up to hover, and the quinjet, unable to stop so quickly, shot past him. He got a glimpse of the pilots as they flew by and was surprised to see a flash of red hair. He watched as they pulled into a vertical loop to turn around and come back for another pass. “Do you know James’ position?”

“His communicator is going over the George Washington Bridge now.”

“Great. Do we have any more of that smoke?”

“Yes, sir.”

Tony made sure that the quinjet was facing him as he flew east, dodging and weaving through the city, the red smoke streaming behind him laying an unmistakable trail. He blasted over Brooklyn, no doubt tangling air traffic over the city as he went past LaGuardia then turned south. He did a loop around the Statue of Liberty, just for fun, before heading east again. When he saw the Atlantic through the maze of buildings, he put on more speed and released the last of the smoke so that for a solid thirty seconds the quinjet didn’t have visibility on him, then dove into the water. 

“Did it work, JARVIS?” Tony asked as he let himself sink into the murky water, making his way slowly out towards the open ocean.

“It appears so, sir. They are attempting to find you on radar now.”

Tony turned on the helmet lights for him to navigate the river, wrinkling his nose at the trash and watching the fish dart around him. The pilot of the quinjet must have suspected that he went into the water because they circled for a long time looking for him, making sweeping passes as they tried to pick him up on their sensors. But Tony had prepared for this; the rebreather in his suit was good for twelve hours before it needed to be replaced so he stayed under the water as he headed north until JARVIS couldn’t sense any signals for miles, radar, radio, or otherwise. GPS said he was somewhere off the coast of Maine, so he climbed to a good cruising altitude – high enough to not be seen by a casual observer, but low enough that he wouldn’t ping off of any air traffic control towers – and headed back west by way of the US-Canadian border. 

It was a long, tiring flight, especially as he went through an adrenaline crash somewhere over South Dakota, but a few hours later he was landing in front of the safe house. He’d know that he’d be back well before James and Steve, but it was still jarring and lonely to walk into the dark cabin all by himself.

He stepped out of the suit and packed it up as he unlocked the door, then he flipped on the lights and froze when saw Stane. “Hello, Tony,” Stane said. “Welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Card Number: 4032  
> Square Filled: T5 (Image of Iron Man flying through a city)


	4. Chapter 4

Suddenly Tony felt as if he was 18 again, scared and alone, staring at Stane over kitchen table while his parents were laid out at the local morgue. His fingers went numb and he dropped the suit case at his feet, acutely aware of the pistol in Stane’s hand. It was currently resting on the table but definitely pointed right at Tony. “Come on in,” Stane said when it was clear that Tony couldn’t find anything to say. “You know, you’ve got a lot to answer for you fucking brat.” He gestured with the pistol towards the chair across from him. “Sit. You're a hard man to get alone these days, Tony. I’m going to guess that Barnes and Rogers are long gone, am I right? Probably had a real heartfelt reunion after that shit you pulled in New York. Are they planning to come back here or have they run off together?”

“I don’t know,” Tony said as he came closer, his knees going weak and dropping him into the chair. He was pathetically grateful that his voice was even, though his limbs felt like ice. God, he prayed that they would just disappear together, but they’d made a plan and he knew James would stick to the plan, even if he was walking right into a trap.

Stane just laughed. “You’ve turned into quite a liar, Tony. Once upon a time I thought you were too chicken shit to try to lie to me. But it doesn’t matter, they’re not here right now and that’s what matters. You’re all alone, Tony. Just me and you.”

“What do you want?” He wanted to ask _how did you find me?_ but it felt too much like begging, and he refused to do that again.

“You know what I want,” Stane said. He gestured towards the suit still sitting in the open doorway. “I saw all the ones downstairs, too. Impressive. A lot better than what Hydra has, though you made sure of that, didn’t you?”

Here it was again, Stane’s twisted game of cat and mouse conversation, full of traps for the unwary. Fear was still a rock in his stomach, but anger made his hands ball into fists. “Get to the point, Stane,” Tony snarled. Stane was sitting in James’ chair, in their kitchen, their _home_ , and that felt like an unendurable violation.

The affable grin fell from Stane’s face like the mask it was. “The point is, your little jaunt here is over. You’re coming with me, and when Barnes and Rogers show up, Hydra will be waiting for them. You’ve cost me a lot with your little stunts – the faked death, putting Potts in charge, even trying to set your friend Rhodes against us – but you’re going to help me earn it all back now.” Stane took a syringe out of his pocket and pulled the cap off before setting it on the table between them. “Inject yourself with this.”

“The hell I will,” Tony said.

“Inject yourself with this, or I shoot you,” Stane said, waving the pistol a little as if Tony had forgotten about it.

But living with James had done many things, and one of them was to make Tony a lot less afraid of people waving pistols around. Moving slowly, like a man twice his age, Tony picked up the syringe and dropped it on the floor, crushing it with the leg of his chair. “Then fucking shoot me,” he snarled.

“You little _pissant-_ ” Stane growled. As Tony had hoped, he lunged over the table to grab him; Stane had always liked using his hands to punish Tony, and this time was no different. Except that this time, Tony wasn’t just scared: he was mad, and he was ready.

Tony shoved himself out of Stane’s reach by putting his feet on the table and kicking it hard; as he’d hoped, it pushed him backwards and also drove the table into Stane’s stomach, knocking him off balance. As Stane grunted with pain, Tony went for the gun, twisting it out of Stane’s meaty hand just as James had taught him. Stane grabbed his arm with his other hand, but Tony swung at his head with the butt of the pistol. Flinching backward, Stane lost his grip and Tony took two big steps back out of his reach, leveling the pistol at him. Stane had been with Hydra for decades but had never bothered learning how to really defend himself, too confident that he was smarter and stronger than everyone else. Tony, on the other hand, had been living with James for almost a year and had used that time wisely.

Stane took one look at him, both hands steady on the pistol, and laughed. “You know this won’t end here,” he sneered. “Cut off one head and-”

Tony cut him off by shooting him in the chest twice, one-two in quick succession; another lesson from James. Stane’s face went slack and he swayed against the table, sliding it across the floor with a screech as he slowly went to his knees, then slumped to the ground. It wasn’t a slow death, but it wasn’t particularly fast, either, and Tony stood over him and watched until the last breath went out of him.

Once he realized that Stane was dead, _really_ dead, the shock hit, and he barely managed to get to a chair before his legs gave out again. He swallowed thickly against nausea as his empty stomach threatened to rebel and concentrating on breathing, in through his nose and out through his mouth, until he felt like he could stand. He made his way around Stane’s body and got a can of soda from the fridge, chugging it for the caffeine and sugar and holding the cold can against the back of his neck until the shakiness subsided. He gave himself ten minutes more to freak the fuck out, then splashed water on his face and got to work.

“JARVIS, did Stane come alone?” Tony asked as he searched Stane’s pocket, finding another needle, his wallet, and his phone. He hadn’t noticed anyone on his way in, but he had also been too exhausted to remember to scan the area before he landed.

“Stane approached alone and on foot,” JARVIS said. “So far I have detected no unusual activity along the perimeter.”

Tony sat back on his heels and thought about that. Had Stane really thought that he could take Tony, James, _and_ Steve back to Hydra by himself? Impossible. Syringes indicated that he had planned to keep Tony sedated for a while, but not for long enough for Steve and James to get here from New York.

A ping from Stane’s phone pulled him from his thoughts. Tony had to use Stane’s thumb to unlock it, but it was a coded message. Tony sat back on his heels as he puzzled it out, then he slumped against the cabinets as he figured it out. _ETA 0900Z_ _2HAT4STR._ “Fuck.” He had – he glanced up at the display on the microwave – 6 hours to get ready before Hydra descended on the cabin. That explained a lot; Stane had likely gambled on Tony getting back here first with the suit and planned to take him in alone, then leave Steve and James to Hydra’s ambush.

“Arrogant fuck,” he muttered. He and James had planned for this, over and over and over, so Tony knew exactly what he needed to do next, but first he was going to get this man’s corpse out of his kitchen.

* * *

As Bucky pulled into the driveway of the cabin three days almost to the hour of setting eyes on Steve, he could only sit in the car for a long moment and stare at the scene in front of him.

“This is the guy you’ve been telling me about?” Steve said after a long moment, pointing to Tony in his suit, and James could only nod. “Are there normally this many dead people around your house?”

“No, that’s new,” James said as Tony dropped the body he’d been carrying and waved at them. They both climbed out of the car and looked at the massacre around the cabin. “What the hell, Tony?” James said. “What happened?”

“Well, Hydra happened,” Tony said as if it should be obvious. He took off his helmet, hair adorably mussed, and nudged a body with the toe of his boot. “I got back here and Stane was waiting for me, then these guys showed up.”

“Wait, _Stane?_ ” Tony nodded. James scanned Tony's face, relieved that he seemed fine. “Then, what...at least two Hydra Strike teams? And you killed them all?” James scanned the cabin and surrounding forest and noticed a thin trail of smoke in the trees. “What’s that?”

Tony followed his gaze and frowned. “Shit, I thought I had put that fire out. That was a helicopter. There’s another one somewhere over there,” he said, gesturing towards the west. “I wanted to have it all cleaned up by the time you guys got here, but I got tired of digging holes.” Just then Tony must have noticed that Steve was staring at him because he held out a hand, still in the suit. “Hi. I’m Tony Stark.”

“Steve Rogers,” Steve said, shaking the gauntleted hand with the barest hesitation. “Bucky has told me a lot about you.”

“Same,” Tony said, flashing a grin. James realized he was staring; something about Tony had changed since they’d last seen each other. He seemed lighter, his smile brighter. James wanted to feel that smile against his mouth and was swaying towards him when Tony turned away. “Come on inside, the inside is clean. Though that took a while, too. ” Tony stepped out of the suit and led the way to the cabin while James gave up counting the bodies after he got to a dozen.

“I like him,” Steve said as they followed him. “I can definitely tell it’s Howard’s kid though.”

Tony told the story as he scraped together some spaghetti and baked some garlic bread from the freezer. The strike teams had assaulted the cabin in the middle of the night and had, fortunately, not been expecting resistance. “We had assumed that they wouldn’t do an air assault because they would get caught on radar, but I guess they had a way around that,” Tony said with a shrug. “But it’s fine. The suits have a sentinel mode where they shoot anything that moves, so they took care of the ground team while I took care of the helicopters.”

“Nice work,” James managed, which was horribly inadequate but he was so turned on right now that he couldn’t think of anything better to say. Seeing in Tony in action had always had that effect on him, and it had only gotten worse with time. Thankfully, Tony didn’t notice, but judging from his smirk, Steve knew James’ predicament and thought it was hilarious. James kicked him under the table.

“Thanks,” Tony said with wry smile, which didn’t do anything to help James’ situation. “But I don’t know if we can stay here, now that Hydra knows where we are.”

“I think we are safe for tonight, at least,” Steve offered. “If they sent two helicopter strike teams and no one came back, they are going to think of a new plan before coming in again.” James nodded helpfully and tried to focus on the spaghetti so he wouldn’t embarrass himself.

Tony was finished eating first, as usual, so he took the first shower while James and Steve polished off the pot of spaghetti.

“Guess I should have known you were sweet on him, since you had so much to say about him,” Steve said with a low voice when they heard the shower start. His mouth was ticked up at the corners in a way that was achingly familiar, and looking at it, James was swamped by how glad he was to have him back. “I haven’t seen you like this with anyone since Dot.”

James shrugged self-consciously, feeling like maybe his face was hot. “Don’t think he’s interested though.”

“What makes you say that?” Steve asked curiously.

James stabbed at his spaghetti. “I’ve been trying to flirt with him for months now, and he hasn’t taken me up on it. I didn’t want to push too hard and make it weird, so I backed off.” Steve made a noise at that, and James narrowed his eyes at him. “What?” Steve just shook his head and shoveled a forkful of spaghetti into his mouth instead of saying anything. “I know that noise. Out with it.”

“Just remembering how much you heckled me about not giving up on Peggy,” Steve said, swallowing as James menaced him with a fork. The mention of Peggy’s name made a shadow flash over Steve’s face and he looked down at his plate. “Don’t waste the time you have if you might be able to get what you want.”

They both went back to their food and then Steve helped James wash and dry the dishes; by the time they were done, Tony was out of the shower, pink-cheeked from the heat. His hair was curling over his forehead and there was still water on his eyelashes, and Steve took one look at James’ face and hastily claimed the shower next.

James poured Tony a cup of coffee – Tony technically liked an espresso after dinner, but James hadn’t mastered the fancy machine in the corner of the kitchen yet – and sat down with him at the table.

Tony took a sip of coffee and looked like he was bracing himself for something. “So I guess this is where talk about we splitting up,” Tony said in a rush, staring down at his mug.

James’ stomach dropped. Whatever he had expected Tony to say, it wasn’t _that._ “Split up? Why?”

“Well, I mean, you’ve have Steve now, so…” Tony trailed off and James just raised an eyebrow.

“So…” He prompted.

“So you two will want to be together.”

“Since when are _two_ people better than _three-_ oh.“ James barked out a surprised laugh as he realized what Tony was trying to say. “Steve and I aren’t _together._ I mean, we make a good team, but we’re not…no.”

“Really? I mean, you were telling me all those stories about the stuff you two did together,” Tony started, then trailed off when must have realized he was basically trying to argue with James about whether he and Steve were a couple.

“It wasn’t like that. I’m not interested in him,” James said, looking at Tony meaningfully.

“Okay,” Tony said cautiously. “That’s…good.”

James sighed and went for broke. “Let me say that again. I’m not interested in _him._ ”

“Oh.” Now Tony looked confused, so James waited for that big brain of his to circle around to the obvious. “Wait, you mean _me_?”

James bit back a curse and the urge to bang his head on the table. Thank God Steve was in the shower or he’d be laughing his ass off. “Yes, you. You sound like that’s hard to believe.”

“But you…really?”

“Really,” James said. “For a few months now, even. Why did you think I would take so many opportunities to be naked in front of you? I wasn’t raised in a barn.”

Tony paused and James could practically see the past few months rearranging themselves in his head. “For few months? Since when?”

James sighed and pressed his fingers to his eyes. “You had just made dinner one night and you were clearly pleased with yourself, but it was horrible. You seemed so disappointed that I made myself eat my whole plate and got seconds so you would stop looking sad. Since then.”

Tony blinked rapidly. “Oh, yeah, that fucking pot roast. But that was months ago!”

“That’s what I _just said!”_

“Why didn’t you say anything? I’ve been over here -” Tony bit his lip against whatever he was going to say and James saw his face get red.

“Yeah?” James felt a smile bloom on his face and the tension drained from him as a giddy feeling bubbled in his chest. “Been over there, what, Tony?” But Tony just shook his head stubbornly, face still red. “Fine, I’ll go first. I’ve been over here making you breakfast every morning because you stay up too late working and I worry about you.” James leaned forward and kept his eyes on Tony’s face as he took his hand, rubbing a thumb over his knuckles. “I’ve been over here taking you out to the woods because you like to look at the stars but for some reason you won’t go outside to look at them by yourself. And I’ve been over here looking for excuses to touch you because I want you so much that sometimes I can’t think straight when you’re around. How's that for saying something.”

Tony’s smile was blinding, brown eyes dancing. “I didn’t take you for a poet, James,” he said teasingly, and James hooked a finger in his shirt and started pulling him closer.

“Just get over here and fucking kiss me already,” James said, and Tony did.


End file.
